Phil Miozzo

Arena: Weegee (Seating Capacity: 689)

Asst GM: Ed Gein

Coach: Rocky Dennis

2014-2015, 2018-2019, 2019-20

Three time Palucci Cup champion

Acquired Picks: Lopezers 11th round (2025-26) Knee 13th round (2025-26) Cobra 17th round (2025-26) AV 4th round (2025-26) AV 5th rnd pick (2026-27)

Team Dwarf

As Mr. Phil Miozzo steps into the big leagues, the hockey world is abuzz with skepticism and intrigue. Mr. Miozzo, who has confidently proclaimed that he will capture the Palucci Cup in his first year as an expansion team, faces an uphill battle. His success in smaller leagues doesn’t necessarily translate to dominance in Houndog Hockey’s more competitive arena.

Mr. Miozzo’s track record, marked by victories over lesser competition, raises questions about his ability to handle the high stakes of top-tier hockey. The claim that he will easily secure the Palucci Cup seems ambitious, given the significant step up in competition. Many General Managers are eagerly awaiting to see what rookie mistakes Mr. Miozzo might make, ready to pounce on any missteps.

Last season (2014-15), Mr. Miozzo’s victory was perceived by many as a fluke. His seemingly haphazard drafting strategy and reliance on luck have been criticized, with some pointing out that Team Dalton’s premature exit played a significant role in Mr. Miozzo’s success. The general consensus among critics is that Mr. Miozzo’s triumph was more about favorable circumstances than strategic brilliance.

Adding to the drama, Mr. Miozzo’s unique and often mocked musical creations—such as “Babooms” and “Boomshackalacks”—have only fueled the skepticism surrounding his capabilities. There is a growing anticipation that these eccentricities will be overshadowed by a subpar performance, with many predicting that his team will languish at the bottom of the standings.

Meanwhile, Team Dwarf has made headlines with the announcement of their new Assistant GM, Big Bobby Clobber. Speculation is rife that Clobber played a crucial role in the controversial asterisk win by Team Dwarf last season. The involvement of Clobber has sparked debates and investigations into the legitimacy of last year’s outcome.

In a curious twist, an investigation into GM Phil Miozzo’s background has revealed his graduation picture, raising questions about his persona and expertise. As Mr. Miozzo embarks on his big league journey, all eyes will be on him to see if he can turn skepticism into success or if he will indeed fall short of the lofty expectations he has set for himself.

Prediction for 2025-26: 2nd Place

Protected Players 2025-26

Round Player
1
2 *** TRADED PICK TO KNEE HIGH P.I.s
3
4 Sebastian Aho / John Tavares / Jason Robertson / Mikhail Sergachev /
5 Shea Theodore / Thatcher Demko / Linus Ullmark
6
7
8 Alexander Ovechkin / Vince Dunn / Victor Hedman / Cole Caufield
9 Adrian Kempe / Logan Stankoven
10 /
11 Lane Hutson /
12 *** TRADED PICK TO TEAM COBRA
13 Cutter Gauthier / Alexander Nikishin / Yaroslav Askarov / Brandt Clarke /
14 *** TRADED PICK TO TEAM AV
15 *** TRADED PICK TO TEAM AV
16 *** TRADED PICK TO THE KNEE HIGH P.I.s
17 /
18 *** TRADED PICK TO TEAM AV
19 *** TRADED PICK TO TEAM AV
20 *** TRADED PICK TO TEAM COBRA

Drafted Players 2025-26

Round Player Team Traded To On Dropped On
1 Nathan MacKinnon Col
2 *** TRADED PICK TO THE KNEE HIGH P.I.s
3 Auston Matthews Tor
4 ** Sebastian Aho Car Nov 6
4 John Tavares Tor
4 Jason Robertson Dal
4 Mikhail Sergachev Uta
4 Kyle Connor Wpg
5 ** Shea Theodore Vgk Nov 6
5 Thatcher Demko Van
5 Linus Ullmark Ott
6 Mackenzie Blackwood Col
7 Matthew Tkatchuk Fla
8 Alexander Ovechkin Wsh
8 Vince Dunn Sea
8 Victor Hedman TB
8 Cole Caufield Mtl
9 Adrian Kempe LA
9 ** Logan Stankoven Car Oct 29
10 Jacob Chychrun Wsh
11 Lane Hutson Mtl
11 Anthony Stolarz Tor
12 *** TRADED PICK TO TEAM COBRA
13 Cutter Gauthier Anh
13 Alexander Nikishin Car
13 Yarolsav Askarov SJ
13 Brandt Clarke LA
13 Darcy Kuemper LA
14 *** TRADED PICK TO TEAM AV
15 *** TRADED PICK TO TEAM AV
16 *** TRADED PICK TO THE KNEE HIGH P.I.s
17 Michael Misa SJ
17 Karel Vejmelka Uta
18 *** TRADED PICK TO TEAM AV
19 *** TRADED PICK TO TEAM AV
20 *** TRADED PICK TO TEAM COBRA
** Indicates dropped player during regular or off season